TROJAN MULE

Peter Billig

TROJAN MULE

“Life’s a bitch and always because of the broads!” Werner said. “Bottoms up!”
He emptied the glass to his image in the mirror and thus spake to his double:
“Werner, a human blessed with awareness, got hurt again! Animals learn quicker! Where does this urge come from? I give my soul to a woman, I get abandoned and I undergo the same excruciating pain again and again. And when my heart has healed, I find yet another woman! This is a trap, a pitfall of existence! My manhood, erudition and free will mean dick because I can’t gainsay my psychological program, the preprogrammed robot I am! Cheers!”
They drank again.
“Let’s be fair. In my case, it’s always been a man ditched, as I’m a man. But women get discarded too. I’ve seen females hurt by men. Works for both genders; all humanity’s trapped! Cheerio!”
They took a long silent drink.

“Here we go again, full of heartache, getting stiff,” Werner said at last. “Time to do something. I’m referring to my secret project code-named “Sexless”, told you last time. Being the leader of this lab I can start at once, without questions from above. If I keep it secret the first three months, everybody – Rector, President, Primate and Pope – can kiss my ass. We have the anti-abortion law and the free press! Pro-lifers will stand by me and I will adopt, the sperm being mine! Let’s drink to the project!”
They did.

Nine months later all Institute was present to assist at the “delivery”. The moment the little one has been taken out of the mother-surrogate, the scientists avidly began their inspection: in the place where genitals occur, it had only an orifice to void urine. Werner called it Evadam, a hybrid of Eve and Adam, the first man and the first woman. Evadam was the first unsex. In its birth certificate, in the space gender stood neuter, and in mother and father both Werner’s name.
Werner’s flat became an open house for scientists and a strange thing happened: their initial scientific curiosity gradually changed into heartfelt care for Evadam’s well being. Soon, all scientific pretences were dropped and people kept coming for the pleasure of it.
Even though in its physical and intellectual growth Evadam did not stand out against his sexed peers, there was something irresistible to its beautiful features, gracious movements, and, later, harmonious voice making Evadam’s presence an enjoyment. Some said Evadam had a healing effect on body and psyche comparable to swimming with dolphins.
Three years old Evadam began in kindergarten and even the kids’ parents were enticed, staying to talk with it and to give it sweets. The kids, though, were not jealous because Evadam created peace and harmony around it. To be angry or envious with it was impossible.

Same story repeated itself in school: Evadam was a favorite with everyone, both its teachers and pals. In high school, in the age when sexuality means so much, Evadam’s peers respected it precisely because of its holding itself aloof of all this hanky-panky. And the teachers noticed that love and lust between the students, a normal state of affairs, was practically non-existent during the unsex’s stay, replaced by asexual friendships.
Only too late they linked this fact to Evadam’s person. As the unsex graduated from high school, it went on vacation. There, it celebrated its coming of age – eighteen – and, albeit unaware, its unsexual maturity. So when it entered university in the autumn, all the fellow students began to lose sexual interest for their partners. Once more nobody associated the fact with Evadam’s person. Three months after its enrollment a reporter from a local TV station visited the university to talk with the freshmen. He chanced upon Evadam.
The five minutes short interview was broadcast during the intermission in a prestigious soccer game. Only the people in the stadium watched the second half of the match. The TV viewers were phoning or e-mailing the station with demands to see Evadam again – such was the commendation of its charm! The interview was shown again immediately after the game. Other stations in the country heard of it and showed it. As the result, 99% of our populace saw Evadam and the same thing happened to them: they lost sexual interest for other people, exactly as Evadam’s fellow students. TV stations abroad bought and brought the interview. Every newspaper had at least one picture of Evadam. A soft drink company put its image on the bottles – and kept selling out! Other companies followed. Their products reached everywhere – into the jungles, the deserts and the icecaps.
And before anyone was aware of it was too late. We never thought that men and women attracted each other because their biological program offered no choice – a smart device by the monopolistic Nature, interested in keeping her farce of life going. As soon as an unsex appeared, engineered by human protest, the deeper strata of our psyche saw through the scheme and blew the whistle on Her.

Copyright 2007 Peter Billig